Yer dirty Mick!

So - it transpires that the Ginge has had a whole load of minge.




Well done Mick Hucknall. I think we have failed to embrace this man's achievement. I'm aware that his claims of bedding over 1000 women over three years might be total lies - I too dream of topping the Trending topics on Twitter, Mick - but let's assume its all true. *shudder* Let's all take a Motilium and think about it for a moment.

Look at him. Go on, really long hard look. Imagine his sex face. Waking up to that carroty beast of a morning. For those feeling slightly aroused as a result, please seek psychiatric attention. No matter how hard I try, all I can think of is "How drunk would I have to be?", and thus I plan on conducting a scientific study. I'm gonna sit and drink while staring at a picture of Huckers and see how long it takes me to fall foul of his charms. Don't worry, I'll enlist the aid of a paramedic and a stomach pump prior to the experiment.

No matter how seducing his charm and status, I'm still struggling to imagine bumping uglies with the guy. I mean, his music wasn't even good! Except for that Stars one. It reminds me of sitting in a car lot for 2 hours when I was 8 years old. It was the highlight of a rather shit day.

This rate of success surely is testament to his musical success. Simply Red must have been RAKING it in to pay for all the drugs/booze to make those women do the dirty dance with Mick. This is the best argument I've seen against piracy and file sharing robbing artists of money. If I continue "borrowing" my music off t'internet, how on earth with the uglies of the industry get laid? From now on, I shall judge my downloading habits on this theory - hence why I don't feel bad for Rhianna - she probably needs to pay people to keep away from her if anything. And if she comes round, knocks on my door, bitching about the tenner I owe her, I'll sort her out. *Insert bawdy comment here* Its a good thing I don't like Olly Murs, and will hence never feel the need to pay out for his musical dribbles. He looks like he's missing a few chromosomes or summat. Like his face was never unpacked properly. Good thing I'm perfect eh?

Well done Mick. Here's hoping you were sensible, and that you had decent access to wash facilities while on tour. Moreover - congratulations on keeping count, you creep.