Yer dirty Mick!

So - it transpires that the Ginge has had a whole load of minge.




Well done Mick Hucknall. I think we have failed to embrace this man's achievement. I'm aware that his claims of bedding over 1000 women over three years might be total lies - I too dream of topping the Trending topics on Twitter, Mick - but let's assume its all true. *shudder* Let's all take a Motilium and think about it for a moment.

Look at him. Go on, really long hard look. Imagine his sex face. Waking up to that carroty beast of a morning. For those feeling slightly aroused as a result, please seek psychiatric attention. No matter how hard I try, all I can think of is "How drunk would I have to be?", and thus I plan on conducting a scientific study. I'm gonna sit and drink while staring at a picture of Huckers and see how long it takes me to fall foul of his charms. Don't worry, I'll enlist the aid of a paramedic and a stomach pump prior to the experiment.

No matter how seducing his charm and status, I'm still struggling to imagine bumping uglies with the guy. I mean, his music wasn't even good! Except for that Stars one. It reminds me of sitting in a car lot for 2 hours when I was 8 years old. It was the highlight of a rather shit day.

This rate of success surely is testament to his musical success. Simply Red must have been RAKING it in to pay for all the drugs/booze to make those women do the dirty dance with Mick. This is the best argument I've seen against piracy and file sharing robbing artists of money. If I continue "borrowing" my music off t'internet, how on earth with the uglies of the industry get laid? From now on, I shall judge my downloading habits on this theory - hence why I don't feel bad for Rhianna - she probably needs to pay people to keep away from her if anything. And if she comes round, knocks on my door, bitching about the tenner I owe her, I'll sort her out. *Insert bawdy comment here* Its a good thing I don't like Olly Murs, and will hence never feel the need to pay out for his musical dribbles. He looks like he's missing a few chromosomes or summat. Like his face was never unpacked properly. Good thing I'm perfect eh?

Well done Mick. Here's hoping you were sensible, and that you had decent access to wash facilities while on tour. Moreover - congratulations on keeping count, you creep.

Flo Rida

What does he do? Well, he does quite a lot actually. He's much like my Dad - he does odd bits and bobs as they crop up, yet nobody is quite sure what exactly he does. For example, he spent a day in Roundstone, about 50minute drive from home, to pull up plants. In the snow and ice, just in case life wasn't hard enough. I mean my dad, of course, though I'm sure Flo has a price too.
So, wise Oracle (Wikipedia)- what are his musical accomplishments? "Right Round" - with Ke$ha and bits nicked from Dead or Alive. He talked over a bit of Alexandra's (proper) debut single "Bad Boys". I don't know who was supporting who, there. I can only assume some sort of meeting was held:

Agent: "Alexandra, meet Flo Rida - Flo, this is...."
Both: "Um... Hi." *look quizcally upon each other*
Agent: "See these words, Flo? Just say em real quick when Alex here is vandalising all around her. With the vague memory of a nation backing her and your 5 fans and your mum - we'll be unstoppable."

He did some stuff with Nelly Furtado - though who hasn't at this stage. The fact she has a greatest hits is laughable. Is it 2 or 3 sucessful albums you've had? (Actually, its 4. But one of those is in Spanish, and the first one is called "Whoa, Nelly!" which due to its terrible name, makes it automatically null and void).

WAIT - I'm forgetting the classic "Be On You" with Ne-Yo. From the lyrics, I have gathered this is not an Anchorman spoof as I had hoped. Instead, at least I think, its about shagging his short mum.



Anyhoo, the most recent example of Flo's fine work is his addition to the Saturday's 'Higher'. The Saturdays do NOT need tweaking. Had the song been originally recorded and released to contain some of Mr. Rida's babbling - fine. But what bugs me is that the album version of the song has no such input, as is just super without it. Now, upon releasing it as a single, they've crowbarred in an intro and a bridge. Though hearing this well 'ard, well cool rap artiste shouting "una! Molly! Vanessa!" - fairly bog standard names - does make me laugh. (they recorded the video separately too. Another bug bear.)

I do wonder though - does he write these ditties himself? I like to think he has some originality and integrity. Even if it does mean he's tarnishing the lovely Saturdays.

He's got a new album out soon. in case you're interested.