Dear Jelly Bean Factory,
Having purchased several packs of your "gourment beans" for friends and one for myself, I felt the compulsion to share my feelings with you.
What a wide variety of flavours you offer! All the usual, strawberry, lemon and the like, ranging through to the original grape, cranberry, bubblegum and liquorice. Delightful. However, I can't help but feel you're making a lot of it up. Giving various beans different strange colours and non-distinct flavours, and naming it something exotic DOES NOT a gourment bean make.
Candy floss? Candy floss is just sugar. Jelly beans are flavoued sugar, essentially. So you're giving me sugar flavoured sugar.
Peachy pie. This should just be peach. You'd be on to something then - but the addition of "-y pie" allows you to get away with the fact it tastes nothing like peaches.
Café Latte. I like coffee. I like jelly beans. However, the concept of jellied coffee is as horrific in practice as it is in theory.
Cinammon. You went TOO far with the flavour this time. Its a quiet nasty. You chew it and think "mmm, this is a bit nice..." *chomp chomp*, and before you know it, your taste buds are taken over by a combination of vomit and Aftershock Red. Although, I'll grant that this is a natural and commonly occurring combination, but it isn't one I want replicated in a sweet.
Pina Colada. What a frigging cop-out. You market these things at children. Your target market have never tasted pina colada. Hell, I don't think even I have tasted pina colada. This has given you free rein to make it tast whichever way you want. It actually tastes like cat hair.
South seas kiwi. As opposed to a normal kiwi? Or an excuse to just colour a plain jelly bean snot-green?
Tangerine. Sod off, its the same as orange.
And my other gripe? Why do the nasty flavours go to the bottom of the tub, no matter what?
Yours sincerely,
Teresa Coyne
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